Stop Simmering Your Happiness – Change & Let It Boil

Ideas surround us. Some are obvious; others need cultivation, but most simply need inspiration. The worst is a good idea never shared.  I have learned in life that sharing new ideas is paramount to innovation and success.

One of my clients inspired me today with her reluctance to share an idea. Showing me one of the platescapes on my blog, she stated, “I cannot show this great presentation idea to my colleague. If a naked man shows up while I’m showing him, he will think I am a ‘pervert’!” She went on to tell me how unhappy she was with her present work assignment. The uncreative atmosphere she finds herself in is definitely dampening her self-happiness. We worked on first changing her mindset about Scarlett Skillet. With a changed attitude, I am sure she will find some note of happiness by encouraging her co-workers’ creativity through sharing what she found on Scarlett Skillet.

When my inspired client left my office, I got to thinking.  We all have ideas of what happiness consists of and what it would take to make it happen. Getting out of debt, losing weight, getting a better job, or even enjoying the one you have, are goals I hear every day as a Human Performance Inspirationalist. Of course, any one of these can be great and change your life. But will they truly provide happiness? As one who inspires others to increase self-performance at work and at home, I had to learn what happiness is.

What I learned about myself is that I already have all I need for overallhappiness– a successful career helping others and a great family life– but my true inner happiness was buried beneath my insecurity regarding other people’s opinions of me, my desire to express my passion for the male form, my discontent with my life as a “foodie” and general self-loathing.

I recently discovered –through writing this blog, by the way– the path to my inner peace is by recognizing and appreciating what I already have and not obsessing about what I need to change about myself. I really do not need to alter my life or accumulate more things. I simply need to adjust my mindset. I must embrace what is already here and focus on my passions. I love photography, and I love great food and wine, but most importantly I love being a sexual creature!

I changed my attitude toward myself first by casting off my cloak of self-doubt, without changing the dynamics of my life in any major way. Art provoked change, passion ignited execution and fantasy met reality!

We all fantasize, mostly without realizing it. We fantasize about the ideal partner, the model kids, the perfect job, the home with everything, the car that turns heads, clothes that make us sexy, exotic travel, earth-shaking sexual encounters, and let’s not forget a healthy bank account.

If I had all these things, I would certainly be happy, right?  Of course I would for a while, anyway! Then as the luster faded on each, I would still be searching for that inner joy, i.e. self-happiness.

Starting this blog overcame my fear of shocking conservative thinkers and outraging the politically correct. The anonymity of a blog format helped make me comfortable with my sexual fascination and set me free to combine my passions in life, share them with you, and in doing so I have discovered a path for understanding myself like never before! I’ve finally realized why I’ve been holding on to volumes of research, photographs, recipes, cookbooks, and clever ideas for entertaining all these years.  I’ve discovered my limitations in writing concisely and logically, and in that regard I’m a work in progress. I’ve also learned that the litmus test of a true passion is untold hours flying by without notice as creativity flows from the mind to the screen.  But most importantly, I’ve learned the unmitigated joy of sharing my twin passions, food and sex, and how many of us there are out there that understand the connection.

The incredible does happen when food and sex are co-stars in a provocative setting! However, I am astonished with the number of blog visitors that remain uncomfortable sharing this blog, apparently afraid to be considered naughty or at the very least, unconventional.  But I am ever so encouraged by those with open, inquisitive minds, as this gentleman who emailed me at

“I enjoyed visiting your blog. Besides some grammar issues, I found it entertaining. It’s nothing more than human nature to be curious about what other men look like, to compare one’s body to other guys. It’s perfectly natural to appreciate the beauty of other men, on the Internet, on magazine covers, in the gym showers, at athletic events or even the ballet. None of these things mean I am not straight. I am straight and love to cook! I will be back to see how I measure up as an art form and a cook for my wife.”

I told my client today, “Leave behind the old baggage, outdated ideals and low self-esteem. Discover what brings you happiness and let it flow out of you.” I sincerely encourage you, too, to think and behave differently. Stop allowing those ideas to simmer; pull the lid off, let them boil to the surface and share them!

If this blog makes you think differently about the budding opportunity in your life then I’m doing something worth while here and I would love to hear from you. Perhaps you have a photography passion. Let it develop! Perhaps it is a culinary calling. Let it not marinate! Whatever your appetite, explore it and, to quote mythologist Joseph Campbell, “follow your bliss”!

Of course,to do so,means change must occur and one must be mentally prepared to accept it.

Today I handed my client an essential ingredient for making change. If you are familiar with “Who Moved My Cheese”, by Spencer Johnson, M.D., then re-read it with a new life agenda in mind. If you have not, purchase a copy of this incredible book. It is an entertaining, quick read that demonstrates an amazing way to deal with CHANGE in your life. Primarily used for change management in business, this book is immensely powerful for love lives and family relations, as well. It is a great investment and a valuable resource.  It never leaves the top of my desk.

Embrace change in your life and let the amazing ideas within you boil over!

I hope you enjoy my art blog, pass it along to your friends.  Let them express their opinions, for it is not art if it does not invoke some kind of emotion. You never know what will trigger emotion in a lover, family member, friend, or even a client.  I am amazed on a daily basis!

Thank you for taking the time to visit. It is greatly appreciated! May you have a happy ending with all your appetites satiated!

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